I was 40 weeks and 4 days when I woke in the night feeling something sharp. I had had some mild sensations before then, but this was considerably stronger. I couldn’t sleep, and it happened to be the night of the full moon eclipse, so I stood on my porch and watched that beautiful arc of silver moonlight.
That morning the sensations fizzled out and I figured I still had days or even weeks before my baby would come. Our birth-keeper Kristy came over and took a couple’s photo shoot of my partner and me. Then I took my dog for a hike. By the time Niko and I finished eating dinner, the sensations had returned and they were getting stronger. I knew I might be entering the birth portal that night, but I also knew that it could still be days or weeks. I got out all our birth supplies just in case, and let our birth team know to stand by.
Niko and I decided to go to bed and try to sleep, since we would need to be rested for whatever was to come. However, once we got in bed things picked up quickly and it was clear we would not be sleeping. After a few waves of intense sensations, we knew it was time to call our birth team. At this point it was 11pm. Two friends were coming from Portland and said they would be oven within an hour. One friend was coming from Bend (3.5 hours away), and she said she was only an hour away. She had started to go to bed that night, but had a feeling that she would miss the birth, so instead she got in her car and started driving to us!
Niko and I went into a flurry of action. I prepped a bunch of beverages to have during labor (lemon water, homemade electrolyte drink, an herbal infusion, and bone broth). We turned off the lights and lit candles all over the house. It was beautiful! While prepping, I would have to pause from time to time and get on all fours on the bed while a wave was passing through me.
Finally all was ready, and we sat down at our altar, prayed, and sang some hymns from our spiritual lineage. Two of our friends arrived, and they settled into the space, and Niko and I went into the bedroom. It felt good to be in a dark, cavelike space with my partner.
Now the contractions were coming fast, and the sensations were very intense. I did my best to be present and dive deep into each sensation as it came. I kept telling myself, “There is only ever this one sensation.” It felt like a canon ball was splitting its way down through my insides. I roared with each sensation, and breathed deep during the pauses.
Our friend from Bend arrived, and she started singing and playing guitar. The calm and beauty of her voice reminded me that all was well and all was held.
After some time, even the pauses between contractions felt intense, and then all of a sudden the baby was crowning. I couldn’t believe it. So far I had not pushed at all. Now I felt the ring of fire, and my baby’s head felt so big. I pushed a little to try to get his head out so I could get some relief. In that moment I felt myself tear a little, so I reminded myself to slow down. After the contraction, his head came back in and I did feel relief. I had a couple of contractions like that, and then all of a sudden my baby shot out all at once! My waters released then too, and baptized my partner. Niko scrambled to catch the baby, and then handed the baby to me. He was born at 2:07am.
He was already pink and breathing. His eyes were open and he was calm. He didn’t cry at all. I held him to my chest and rubbed his back. He was slippery. We held a moment of silence, and then sang a hymn from our lineage.
I sat back and rested into the pillows. Our friends covered Baby and I in blankets, and gave me bone broth to sip. We didn’t know yet if the baby was a boy or a girl, and I didn’t want to pull him away from my body to look. I tried to feel but really couldn’t tell. Eventually we figured out he was a boy, and we were surprised. We had expected a girl, and we only had girl names picked out.
Baby was able to latch and nurse in the first 20 minutes. After about 45 minutes I squatted over a bowl to try to release my placenta, but it wasn’t ready to come yet. I tried again 15 minutes later, and it still didn’t come. I really had to pee and felt like if I could just pee, then my placenta would come out. I sat on the toilet, and immediately my placenta rolled right out, and only after it came out was I able to pee.
Our friends cleaned up the bed, and Papa, Baby and I all tucked in. After an hour or two, we were ready to release Baby from his placenta, so we did a cord burning. It was poignant - now my baby was a separate being in the world. It was nearly dawn now, and we stayed up a bit chatting with our friends. We were all feeling the birth portal bliss.
For the next many days, Baby and I stayed in bed and stayed skin to skin. After a couple days, my milk came in and flowed well. I had two small tears, and they both healed up well, just from staying in bed and mostly keeping my legs together.
Lots of friends and family came over to offer support. They brought food, washed dishes, and gave me bodywork. During these days, I was falling deeply in love with my baby. I had no idea how good it could feel to be with him. I had no idea the depths of love that would swirl up in me. Having him skin to skin on my chest was just about the best thing I had ever felt. The veils remained thin in those early days, and it was almost as if I could see and hear a choir of angels singing down to us.